Dating and the
Single Parent by Ron L. Deal is an important book and one that should belong in the library of
every divorced person who has considered remarrying or at least reentering into
the wonderful world of dating.
if you are divorced with kids still at home
you’re better off not dating or remarrying.
You should devote your time to raising your children.
The odds of remarrying at this time and
not becoming a twice-divorced statistic are not in your favor.
However, they are
not insurmountable, and, as Mr. Deal realistically observes, many single parents
do not want to wait-especially if they believe they have met someone they want
to spend the rest of their life with.
Therefore, the rest of the book is devoted to detailing what
steps a single parent needs to take to not only prepare themselves but their
children for what is at stake and what they have in store for themselves.
The first section of the book includes chapters that help
the single parent decide if they are ready to date.
Mr. Deal accurately describes divorce in the same terms as
experiencing a death. The recovery of
both can take years. You may think you
want someone in your life. You may
believe that you are in a healthy frame of mind to accept that person into your
life. But are you?
Deal provides a lot of real case scenarios as well as a
checklist to help the single parent evaluate just how ready they are to add
another person to their family equation.
Then there’s the children.
You may feel ready, but are they?
Deal poignantly and deftly points out that if your children are not
emotionally ready to handle a new “parent” the chances of marital success are
After evaluating yourself and your children, Mr. Deal gives
invaluable strategies to help prepare yourself and your children for the dating
arena. One chapter delineates the fears
that children (young and adult) have when their parent starts to date. Again, ignoring these very real challenges
are huge strikes against a lasting relationship or marriage with a second
Section two gives helpful advice on the RIGHT places to find
love. He has a great chapter called,
“Yellow Light, Red Light, Green Light.”
He gives a checklist for each. What signs does this potential partner give
that is a warning you should take seriously? What are deal breakers? When is it clear that you can go ahead?
His final section has useful advice on marriage commitment
and step-family preparation. His most profound point, in my opinion, is
that step-families should not be thought of as “blended” as though you could throw
two different groups of people in a figurative blender and they’ll quickly mix. It’s better to think of the process as a
crock pot, where people “simmer” together, taking years to get used to one
If you’re thinking of remarrying, this would be a good book
to read before embarking on that adventure.
I received this book free from the publisher.
or buy it Kindle on $8.79